The Catharsis of Writing

I’ve never really had any events in my life that I needed to just get out onto paper (or a computer) until today. I’m not going to go into what it was but I was so overrun by emotion about it that the only thing I could think of was how I was going to write it. How would I even begin to say what I wanted to say?

While doing homework I had these lines running through my mind so much that I had to put aside the book and just write it. I ended up writing about 1000 words, 3 pages double spaced in a very specific kind of line structure. I’ve never written anything like that, ever. Most of my writing is creative writing in like a YA genre, not the personal connections in real life.

When I shared it with my two best friends they were both incredibly moved. I was sitting there drained from crying so much as I poured myself and my feelings into the piece, but at the same time I was relieved. I was able to get out my feelings and the fears I have through the writing in such a way as I’d never be able to express personally. I’ve seen people do this in my creative writing class, one in particular I can think of, but I’ve never had the chance to do it myself. My best friend even said that it was her favorite voice she’s read from me.

So, whenever you’re just overcome with emotions that you can’t handle keeping them in your head, write. Or for the artists out there, draw. Granted, I feel extremely drained to the point where I didn’t even watch Supernatural tonight. I just laid in bed and watched The Wind Rises (I’ve been craving Studio Ghibli the past few weeks), but I feel like I worked through those emotions in a very healthy manner. I’m able to pray and be optimistic now that my fears have been vented.

Be creative, let the emotions out and don’t let them bog you down. It’ll be okay as long as you don’t bottle them up. I have a bad habit of doing that. This time I had writing to fall on to help me up, even when I couldn’t tell my friends with simple diction.

Until later Chaos Seekers!

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7 thoughts on “The Catharsis of Writing

  1. It’s interesting this was a first for you; and you chose to do it in such a formal “school” format. The way you mentioned the double-spacing, three-page length and thousand words…it just brought me back to high school and hearing my teachers assign such a paper almost weekly.

    I wish I could write or draw something so cathartic and have people there to shoulder my emotions/understand me completely. But, such is not the case, presently.

    ‘Careful with that Studio Ghibli. It can suck you into a fantasy world you may not want to leave. 🙂

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    1. Mother Chaos

      I mean, I used to do those kinds of things in high school of course, but that didn’t mean I was putting anything real into them. For those things I always made them up. I have a creative mind so I used it for them. I didn’t have the experiences to use for the assignments. This time it just came out around that length. It was completely cathartic.

      I hadn’t planned on showing it to anyone when I started it but when I finished I needed someone to talk to about it. Luckily I have two amazing best friends who will tell me the truth anytime.

      Ha! I know! I saw Kiki’s many years ago and then Ponyo a little after it came out on DVD. A few months back I watched Howl’s, Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke all in the same day. Last week I watched My Neighbor Totoro and of course The Wind Rises last night. It’s a beautiful world that I love to delve into!

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  2. I am glad, then, that my teachers didn’t ask for more personal experience-type papers. Most of my assignments were more “professional.” We were told to avoid using certain “soft verbs” and structure paragraphs/sentences in such way that fit some outline mold. It was very limiting but probably broke us into some writing/grammar rules/guidelines we desperately needed. Any creative or personal writing assignments we might have had were left to more creative writing, as far as I can recall. I don’t remember having to write anything too “close to home.” And, I had some weird teachers. So, what a relief because I would not exactly want to share my personal business with them. As it was, high school was a very traumatic time for me, and I am lucky I’m still alive…or am I?

    I used to make up stories, though, when around classmates. I didn’t have the drunken, sexual escapades my classmates had. And, I felt like crap after faking stories. But, in my youth, that was the only thing I could think of doing to “fit in”…not that it did me any good. I still had very few friends which didn’t last.

    Yes, luckily you have those friends. I can only think of a few girls from my youth who would have sat through such an effort with me. But, back then, I am not sure I could have or had the same weight to unload. I had a brief “confession” with two female friends my first year of high school. But, then I lost touch with those girls. I was partly to blame for not liking the paths they chose. But, it makes me sad, thinking back to the time/people I lost.

    I still need to see Ponyo. I was afraid it would be too kiddy when it came to theaters. I didn’t want to be this lone older guy in the theater with mothers and their kids.

    Spirited Away is EXACTLY the sort of film I am warning about. It’s the Ghibli/anime equivalent of an Alice in Wonderland and doesn’t make complete sense to the average eye. I remember seeing that one in the theater and feeling myself get swept away by the tranquil bath house scenes…the frog and that weird specter with the white mask…

    I dunno if it’s Ghibli or not, but I like The Cat Returns, particularly. And, Porko Rosso was pretty good, too. My latest craze is the Avatar (element bender) anime series. It’s gorgeous animation, a nice cultural buffet and completely clean of all the negative traits some anime uses: nudity, excessive violence, rape, etc. I can watch some of that almost any day and forget what I’m supposed to be doing. That and Globe Trekker shows about Japan like the one I just saw with the ever witty Megan giving the tour.

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    1. Mother Chaos

      When I think of writing papers in high school I can only think of the papers we had to do on the TAKS test. Those were always personal. I know in class itself we did more professional works, but we also had a lot of prep for that TAKS composition section. So, that’s where I remembered doing them. Wasn’t high school a little traumatic for everyone? A school full of puberty ridden teens is never a good thing. We’re all lucky to have survived that.

      I was always that quiet girl who didn’t care to fit into the cool crowd. In high school I was in JROTC and that’s where I got my stories, with my peers. I didn’t really come out of my shell and into my own personality until College. In high school I read books and excelled in my studies while maintaining my position in the corps. Any of the friendships I had were based on a very demure me. I’m lucky to have a few friends that I still talk to from high school (Two girls– both of which have babies now– and two guys, one of the guys I only became actual friends with in College). Luckily they stuck with me when my super nerdy self came into being. We’re all in different places now but we still share that camaraderie from our JROTC days. Very few people keep friends from high school.

      The friends I have now (in my fourth year of college) are closer to me than any of the friends from high school. I mean, I call one girl from high school Twin, but we really don’t have THAT much in common, we’re more like sisters. But the friends I have now are a lot like me. We’re all English majors and we all have our nerdy sides we love. It wasn’t until I took Creative Writing two years ago that I really found my true friends. You know people always say that the friends you make in college will last a lifetime. I feel like these girls will, and the one guy of the group.You just have to let yourself be open to the idea of people sharing in your life. Start small. Most of my friends became so through our mutual love of Doctor Who.

      Ponyo is precious. I have a nice fond memory of that movie as a kid.

      Ha! Spirited Away IS the equivalent of Alice in Wonderland! What a great comparison!!

      Those two don’t sound familiar, I’ll have to look into them. Ohh I grew up on Avatar! It’s fantastic! I was into Legend of Korra for a while but lost interest. I adore Avatar though. Personally I love those dark anime. They’re so beautiful in their complexity. I’m currently watching Season 2 of Tokyo Ghoul and Season 2 of Log Horizon. Patiently waiting for the next episodes…

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      1. ‘Must be a different era/country thing. I’ve never heard of the TAKS test system.

        Yea, but my high school experience was a little more terrifying and suicidal. It wasn’t just about peer pressure and bullies.

        And, on that note, I think we should maybe take this heavy, personal stuff to email rather than continue laying it all out here.

        Good golly, she’s only 22. Well, that explains a few things.

        Uh, no, I’ve never heard that about college. I think I heard the same thing said about every other grouping place, though, including grade school, high school, work, etc. Anywhere people stay for a while and make friends, those friends are said to last a lifetime or be memorable. Whatever. I am the noodle that just doesn’t seem to stick to/with anyone. I was always an amusing footnote who didn’t like some things people chose to do.

        Doctor Who?? UGH!

        Was it you I was just talking to about The Wind Rises? I just watched that last night. I rented it. I got a lil emotional watching that rather long film. I did not like the constant smoking which wasn’t good for Nahoko in her condition. Nor did I like the abrupt ending. It was a bittersweet moment Jiro had with her, and they just “blew” her away with a brief “Thank you.” I get it. But, I wanted more at the end and maybe a lil less time with the airplane designs:P But, it was a beautiful painting rich in detail/content.

        I thought Korra was the girl from the Avatar series for a while. How dumb did I feel, later, when I remembered that was KATARA. I haven’t seen enough of Korra to judge that one or understand why they decided to do a second Avatar trial/series with a girl.

        Dark anime? If you are talking dark anime, I would think you are referring to the adult ones that are quite questionable/disturbing…including some of the horror ones, like…what’s that boogieman one they had?…oh, Boogeypop Phantom. Or, those weird live-action films with the chainsaws and humans merged with metal messes. Just gross stuff. Not my thing.

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  3. Mother Chaos

    The TAKS test is in the state of Texas. It’s a standardized test they’ve now done away with in favor of new standardized tests.

    She’s only 22? You mean me? I’m 21 actually. I’ll be 22 in the middle of the year.

    That’s a good point. It is anywhere you set down roots for an extended period of time. I always heard college growing up though. You should never look at yourself as a noddle. From our little discussion I think you’re a delightfully interesting person. You have a brain and you’re not afraid to use it. That’s something that’s not around as often these days.

    Yep! It was me. I thought it was a little too long. I didn’t get into it until after he met Nahoko. It could have been cut a little shorter and the ending definitely could have been better. But it was good. Not the greatest Ghibli I’ve seen but still good. The smoking bugged me too, but that’s just how the times were. It was a very historically based film. I think that’s why one of my friends likes it so much– he has a history degree.

    Haha! Korra is directed more at the teenage crowd whereas The Last Airbender seems to be directed at younger kids. Although I think TLA is all age appropriate. Korra just has more of that angst that teenage shows have. I think that’s why I didn’t like it as much. Korra was cool and all but she just irritated me most of the time.

    Darker themed anime, I should say. They have some of that bloody gore stuff (not that one you named though) but they have an overall story that’s just good. But then again I like the cutesy shojo anime as well. I watch a wide variety of anime. One of my favorites is Angel Beats. It’s one of the first few I watched. These are just a few of the ones I love Noragami, Attack on Titan, Log Horizon, Tokyo Ghoul (one of those dark ones), Beyond the Boundary, etc. There’s a ton but those are the bigger ones that I’ve seen more recently that stuck with me.

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